
Photo by Larry Johnson
gap (noun)
1. a break or opening, as in a fence, wall, or military line; breach
I believe this is the kind of gap they are speaking of at Paddington Station. I am referring to some other definitions of the word.
2. an empty space or interval; interruption in continuity; hiatus
Let me illustrate with a little picture of my morning today.
We arrived at the camp kitchen only to find a fork and knife clearly left by my troop the night before. I gave the girls a short lecture on keeping track of their possessions, though no one stepped up to claim the utensils. They were, of course, mine. I followed the girls to the breakfast table to be informed by them that my sit-upon (the name of a traditional Girl Scout handmade thing-to-sit-on) was up at the front of the dining area. I had left it at campfire the night before. After breakfast, I checked a lost-and-found area for anything left by my troop. There was only one thing that belonged to “us:” the sunscreen I had brought to the boat dock the previous afternoon.
3. a wide divergence or difference; disparity
There is a great disparity between what I believe I can do and my actual behavior. I do not feel that I am blithely skipping through life leaving belongings in my wake (although my dad used to say that I could never be a criminal because I could be too easily traced). I see myself as responsible with my things, and as someone who tries to practice what she preaches to the Girl Scouts! But — apparently — this is not the case.
4. a difference or disparity in attitudes, perceptions, character, or development, or a lack of confidence or understanding, perceived as creating a problem.
Throughout my life, there has seemed to be a difference between how others perceive my attitude and perceptions about my organization and time management issues compared to how I perceive them. I feel strongly that the gaps in my day-to-day functioning are real and that they impact my life in a negative manner. Others seem to trivialize my difficulties without realizing how very serious they are. I definitely lack confidence in myself when it comes to organization and time management; perhaps people act like it is no big deal as a way of supporting and encouraging me, but somehow it seems like the opposite.
In any case, I need to work on fixing the gaps in my mind, because I do mind them.
- {Stress} released: I had a calm and relaxed weekend, and gradually went from feeling terrible (Friday night) to feeling pretty well (tonight). Off to bed!