(My husband is playing snippets of music for me: Echo and the Bunnymen, The Judybats, Jane’s Addiction, Primal Scream, Danielle Dax, Gang of Four, Devo, Too Much Joy. All on one compilation CD. Pretty darn cool.)
I have a tendency to hide out when life gets overwhelming, and I also have a tendency to get overwhelmed by life. Sadly, this means weeks and weeks can go by without seeing my friends or family.
One of my goals is to spend quality time with people I care about. With this new mission in mind, I am trying to make firm plans with people instead of the “We need to get together!” “I know!” kinds of plans that too often get voiced but never actually happen. We’ve had a couple of get-togethers (SingStar night, some big blow-out sleepovers for Q and his friends, hanging out on Halloween); we’ve got more holiday time coming up – including my birthday! – so we will definitely need to have another party or two. Or three. Or more. I definitely want to get a Christmas party on the books.
Entertaining has historically been difficult for me. While it helps me to get things looking nice and tidy, which is good, it also stresses me out: My house isn’t clean enough. I can’t cook. I didn’t give people enough notice. I’m too worried about the food, the drinks, the music, the kids… I end up being a basket case. When I try to relax and just sit and talk with someone, I often got so relaxed and interested that everything else fades away… and I’ve burnt the food, forgotten to get out more wine, probably frustrated someone whom I haven’t talked to at all. (You see, I am sure, the necessity of the whole “lighten up” concept.)
So, lately, I’ve tried to relax about it. I’ve tried to overlook the fact that I still have piles of stuff to deal with (by not letting anyone go upstairs!) and try – desperately and usually unsuccessfully – not to do too much beforehand. (I have missed large chunks of my own parties in the past by running to the store for “just one thing we can’t do without.”) I need to remember that the only thing I can’t do without is the people I love. Even when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Especially when I’m feeling overwhelmed! They cheer me up and make me laugh and bless me with their kindness (and how wonderful they are).
What about you? Do you see your friends as often as you’d like? Do you spend a lot of time with one set of people but rarely see others? How do you make relationships a priority?
- I’m grateful! – for the extra sleep I got when I went home sick today (I’m still feeling a bit shaky) and for David helping me fix the broken handrail on the basement stairs.
- I’m lighter! – I took care of myself by resting and taking it easy this afternoon. I spent some family time watching Damian’s debut on Glee with David and Q. And the handrail is fixed! Hooray!