I am not Charles Barkley

Strobist: Basketball Group Assignment 2007-03-28
Photo by Doug L.

Remember when Charles Barkley famously said, “I am not a role model”?

I’m not a role model. I’m not paid to be a role model. I’m paid to wreak havoc on the basketball court. Parents should be role models. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids .

I’m a parent. I should be a role model.

I work hard to model certain things for my daughter. Kindness. Compassion. Empathy. Generosity. Creativity. Open-mindedness. Forgiveness. Diplomacy and peace. Humor. I don’t always succeed at these things, that’s certainly true. But I think she knows that I value them and work toward them.

I really struggle, however, with many other characteristics that I’d like to model for Quinland. Accountability. Self-discipline. Order. Time management. Serenity. She definitely sees that I value these things, because she knows how defeated I feel when I don’t measure up in these areas. Hopefully she sees, in my struggles, that I think they are valuable things to work toward.

As I read this over, I notice a trend. The first set of qualities, the ones that I find easier, have mostly to do with relating to other people; the second, to managing one’s own life. I don’t mean to say that I am some kind of wizard at relating to people – I definitely struggle with being a good friend; since so much of my life is caught up in my own struggles, too often I neglect the people I care about most – but I really seem to have trouble in relation to myself.

I don’t have the answers. I am just beginning to see the questions.

Daily Check-In:

  • I’m grateful! for a good Girl Scout meeting tonight, for my fabulous Mr. Darcy book, and for getting out of work on time!
  • I’m lighter! I have been doing a good job of waking up early and putting my life in order in the mornings. It gets my day off to a great start.

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