For the third time since we left on the trip, I am seriously down today.
There is no apparent cause for this; I went to sleep feeling fine, got a normal eight hours of sleep, and woke up feeling like a truck had run me over emotionally.
We had a big day planned… so David and Quinland are off visiting cool museums, because that didn’t sound as interesting to me as “not moving and just staring at the brick wall next to my bed.”
Not that David didn’t try to coax me out of the house. A little-known fact is that when I am depressed like this (which is more often than either of us would like), my often-prickly husband is adorable. He is caring and understanding and kind and sweet. He tells me how much he loves me. He reminds me of The Rules and checks to make sure I am following them. Today he discovered that I have missed three doses of medication this week, including everything I was supposed to take before I went to bed last night.
It reminds me of why I love him, but it didn’t get me out of bed. Instead, I told him, “I’m sorry I am a disappointment to you.”
He was surprised. “You are not a disappointment to me!”
I told him, “Oh, I will be.” And he was disappointed that I was going to miss the Modern Art Museum at the Gulbenkian, where he even tried to tempt me with the existence of a Sonia Delaunay. But no, I just remained listlessly staring at the wall. That very wall you see above. You can see the appeal, I am sure.
It’s about five hours later. I am feeling a bit better – probably due to having a proper amount of three different kinds of chemicals coursing through my veins – but I am still in my pajamas at 3 PM, unwashed and unfed. The guilt I feel about not blogging regularly has pulled me out to the computer. I also have one additional task ahead of me; David asked if I would book our lodging in Barcelona. I will do that. Then I might go take a nap.
Whew… I am sure a downer over here today. I need to take my own advice and Lighten Up! If you want to hear about the positive things going on in my life, you are invited to visit the travel blog.
- I’m grateful! for my amazing husband and his support. The poor man has had to live with my mood swings for over 20 years; he knew what he was getting, and he married me anyway. I will be forever grateful for that.
- I’m lighter! than I was this morning, I suppose… I really do need to focus on doing the right things for myself.