I am really struggling with finding my place back here in the real world.
On the road, things were simpler. We ate, slept, explored the world, and hung out with each other. We did schoolwork and paperwork and trip-planning work, but we did it on our own schedule and at our own pace. We had little space, few belongings, and no commitments. We kept ourselves pretty isolated: we didn’t watch the news or read the paper, and we rarely Skyped or emailed anyone at home.
Life here at home is different. We still eat and sleep and do schoolwork and paperwork, but now we have much space, many belongings, and tons of commitments. We are no longer isolated, either; we are, happily, in touch again with our friends and family.
The toughest part is that we are no longer on our own schedule or at our own pace. Everything here is scheduled, everyone has an agenda, and everything goes a million miles per hour compared to life on the road. Once again, I am running: running from place to place, running late, running on empty. It is hard. I spent six months calming down, relaxing, simplifying my life, and in one month it has been ratcheted up again.
I’m trying to breathe deeply. I’m telling myself that going away may have changed me, but it did not cause anything here to change. Life is still as hectic as it was when I left. I need to figure out how to get back into balance. Yoga would help, but I haven’t been to yoga since Quinland broke her leg. Routines would help, but I haven’t got them figured out yet in this new-again life. Cutting back on stuff and on space and on commitments would help, but each of those requires a life change that I have yet to adopt.
I need to accept that the transition is going to be gradual. I will figure out what I can and can’t add back into my life, and do it gradually… on my own schedule and at my own pace.
xo – Lori
I’m grateful for the support of my family and friends today when life ganged up on me and made me cry. I’m still teary, but I’m feeling better.
I’m also grateful, of course, for the photo by Andrea_44.