I had a hard week, physically. Exacerbation, steroids, lack of follow-up, more steroids, drug reactions, insane water retention, dizziness, wooziness… It was nuts.
At one point, when the only part of me that didn’t hurt to move was my thumb, I picked up my phone and got on Facebook.
Holy freaking prednisone. My body is rebelling against it, but every tissue is holding about three times the appropriate amount of fluid. I feel like I am literally going to burst through my skin. Oh. My. Gosh.
Guess what happened? My friends came through with sympathy, commiseration, offers of help, funny comments, and words of wisdom.
The next day I’d started to shed some of the water and I felt a bit better, and I started feeling bad about my griping status update. I thought of my Facebook friends and the things they don’t say: the friend with rheumatoid arthritis who’d rather talk about her work or her kids; the friend with Crohn’s disease who posts about his lovely wife and his golf game; the friend with Guillain–Barré syndrome who shares about paddle-boarding or lightens my heart with Bible verses of praise and gratitude.
I’m humbled by these friends, the ones who have physical conditions that most people don’t ever hear about. I wonder about myself, about my need to do all my thinking out loud, to reason and rationalize and – yes – moan and groan, all in public. When my transverse myelitis diagnosis was changed to MS last year, I decided to tap right into the power of social media and specifically asked my Facebook friends to pray for me and say nice things, because I needed to hear them.
One of my wise friend’s comments the other day was, “We are all social beings or social animals. We all need emotional support.” I guess I just want to be sure that I am about more than the stuff going on in my spinal cord. So while my lovely husband played me fantastic music last night, I thought about what I wanted to say, and posted this:
Things I learned today from the School of Shut The Heck Up:
– I have wonderful friends.
– My blessings WAY outweigh any other issues.
– Other people have all kinds of stuff going on in life, and they just get on with it. Maybe someday I’ll get to that point and we will all be relieved.
– XTC is a really cool band.
Fifteen people liked it. Yeah, I know – they could have been agreeing about XTC… but that’s great, too.
xo – Lori
I’m grateful for ride home and the Taco Del Mar dinner from Dad and Ann this evening. It’s always sad when fall comes and I know they’ll be heading to the desert soon. I’m also grateful for the incredible burst of energy I got tonight! Two rooms tidied and vacuumed, after a full day at work and a lymphatic massage.