It’s the start of a new year, the perfect time for making changes. I hereby resolve that this is the year I don’t make resolutions, the year I don’t try to improve, the year I don’t change myself. Does this mean I am declaring 2014 “The Year of Stagnation”? Not at all. I am going to let 2014 be “The Year We See How Everything Turns Out,” and then… well, we will see how everything turns out. You see, I have already failed at making 2014 a year of improvement, a year of change, a year of resolutions. In no particular order, here are a few of my failures thus far:
- A better work-life balance? I went in to the office on New Year’s Day and did six hours of work on a holiday… and then had to go back in today to cut some checks I forgot to write yesterday.
- Never being late again? Overslept for an appointment just this morning… which was a make-up for the appointment I forgot I had last Friday.
- Exercising every day? Not unless you count walking to the bus stop after work last night or running up a hill to try to make that appointment today.
- The whole paleo eating plan? That went out with the baguette I shared yesterday, the peanut butter cup I had today, and the complete lack of veggies I’ve eaten.
- Daily blogging? I got on the computer at 11:30 last night, determined to write a post before midnight, and got distracted by Hudson Taylor videos until 12:03 am. Who knows when I will get this post done!
- Being a better friend? Well, I’ve neglected to check my voicemail though I have 4 new messages, and I have been confronted with a mountain of still-not-wrapped, still-not-delivered Christmas presents to deal with. (I haven’t finished writing my Christmas letter, either.)
As far as my resolution of improving my attitude… sigh. After my auspicious start, I was stomping around the house this afternoon, cursing myself for being a complete idiot (and worse). David finally got fed up with me being so negative, and said, “Knock it off. You are better than this.” (I did not reply. He said, “Are you mad?” I said no. “Do you wish I would shut up?” I said no. “Are you sure?” I said no.) I am better than this. In fact, I am pretty darn good. What is not good is setting myself up for failure with these all-or-nothing pronouncements and then beating myself up for not meeting them. So I’m not going to have resolutions this year. Instead, I am going to focus on doing the next thing, the next task on my plate, and giving that task my full attention. Let’s see how everything turns out.