I’m leaving you for Darth Vader

I’ve decided that I have to break up with my phone. We’ve been sleeping together for far too long, and it is disrupting my sleep and my health and my sanity.

I have all sorts of “reasons” why I need to have the phone in my hand until the moment I fall asleep:

  • I like to read before I go to bed, using the Kindle app;
  • It helps distract me from the CPAP when I first put it on, until I get used to the breathing pattern; and
  • The phone is actually my alarm clock, so I need to have it right there with me.

Obviously, all of these — while true — are just excuses. All of them can be easily overcome. I could read actual books before bed, which would actually tire me out instead of energizing me as the light from the phone does. I could meditate when I put the CPAP on, which would help me get to sleep, rather than keeping me up. Last, but not least, I could just use an actual old-school alarm clock.

Enter Vader. Darth Vader. Lord Vader. He can kill you with a single thought. (Sir Lord Vader? Sir Lord Darth Vader? Sir Lord Baron Von Vaderham? The Death Star? He runs the Death Star.)

I found him at Goodwill today. He has a nice loud alarm that gets progressively more annoying if you don’t turn it off. Although I wish he made traditional Vader breathing noises, he has another nifty feature: you can snooze him (or just light up the clock face) by pressing down on his head like a Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robot.

Lego Darth Vader shall be my new bedside friend and I shall plug my phone in elsewhere. David will no longer be faced with having to pry the phone out of my clenched fist in my sleep. I will get good rest. I will feel better and the sun will shine and the world will be filled with joy.

Death by tray it shall be.

6 thoughts on “I’m leaving you for Darth Vader

  1. The blue light that is emitted from a cell phone is harmful to your eyes and can disrupt sleep. Get a kindle. I love mine. Keep your phone in your bathroom. It will help if it is not kept near your bed tempting you to look at it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I recently (6 months ) traded in my kindle with keyboard for the kindle paperwhite. It is back lit (I can change the brightness) it is not a tablet its just like reading a book. It doesn’t have web browser or other apps. Just the Amazon store for books or the library. Sounds like you have the kindle fire which is a tablet. It is a different light. It is like reading with a book light.


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