letting go of some dreams

As it does so often, aspirational clutter is rearing its ugly head. So many of the boxes I need to sort through are filled with stuff I have been saving for “someday.”

  • Someday I will get to that quilt project.
  • Someday those empty journals will come in handy.
  • Someday, Quinland will decide she wants to a) dress like a pioneer; b) dress in my 80s drop-waist jumpers; or c) dress in … well, a dress.

I need to get honest with the fact that the first two “somedays” – quilting and journaling – are under my control… but I do not have control of what Quinland will do someday.

She may want to wear a dress in the future, but she may never want to wear one again. She will never, EVER, want to wear my old cotton jumpers, though they did come from Brass Plum at Nordstrom and one has the cutest lace collar. She just won’t. Nor will anyone else, probably. (I will never fit into them again, or I’d be parading around like it was 1986 in a heartbeat.)

This all came to a head about a week ago. My friend Deb was over and noticed that – in the wall of boxes currently stacked outside my bedroom – I had a box labeled “80’s drop-waist jumpers.” Yes, a boxful. (Am I excused if I point out that it was neatly organized and labeled?)  We dug in. Deb discovered that she had personally handmade half of the jumpers back in our college days, and we had a bit of reminiscing over each one. She took one jumper to use as fabric for a future project and then advised that I take photos of the rest and get rid of them. They sat out for this entire week before I have decided this afternoon that she was right. I’ll take a photo or two, and the jumpers can go.

The pioneer stuff is another story. I mean, there has got to be a way I can get that child to wear a coordinating sunbonnet with me, no?

What are you embarrassed to admit that you have saved?  Any long-cherished dreams that you have to admit will never be fulfilled? Comment and commiserate!

Weekend goal: Travel blogging

I have a plan.

I am going to try to work on the travel blog this weekend.

Shocking, right? Well, just because I have only blogged 37 of the 168 days of Our European Adventure doesn’t mean I am done! No, no… I fully intend to get completely caught up on the travel blog. I have rough drafts of some days, copious notes on others, and faint memories of a few. Considering the fact that we took thousands of photos, I think there will be enough to jog my memory.

The problem, as always, is VOLUME. (Name that SNL skit!) If I am 131 days behind, and I do an average of two posts a week, it will only take me 66 weeks to get caught up! That means I will be done blogging by the end of 2013 or so! Hooray! (You’d think all the exclamation points would be making me feel more confident and excited about this plan, but… not so much.)

So, just as I will be eating that paperwork elephant one bite at a time, I will be doing the same with this task. (Let’s call this a rhinoceros.)

Whew! Having a plan means I no longer have to feel like this:

Daily Check-In:

I’m grateful for having a whole day to spend with my little Deb! We haven’t had a good chance to hang out with each other since I got home.

Letting go of expectations

Spring Sunset Magic

We arrived home on Sunday, August 26th, about 9 pm. I was at yoga class the next morning at 6.

I had been craving yoga since we left London. We were in small towns in Norway – too small for a Bikram Yoga studio – and had too few hours in Stockholm for me to get to a class. I had decided that when I got home, I would go to yoga every single morning. (You might remember my blogging about that, here.)

I went for the first five days after we got home. But that fifth day, Friday, I had a really hard time. I had to sit out half the postures – most of the standing series, actually – and really struggled to get through the class. I decided to take a day off on Saturday. Sunday was much better, and I decided to ask the instructor whether I was trying to do too much, too soon. He said that he didn’t go to yoga every day until he had been practicing for six months, and that I might want to start out going every other day and working up to two days in a row, then three days in a row, etc.

I was bummed at first. I had a plan! I wanted to do this! But I realized that I had to adjust my expectations.

That’s hard for me. I tend to make huge decisions, all-or-nothing plans… and then fall apart when the situation becomes too difficult. Not this time, though! I am just going to readjust and do the best I can. I want this to be a long commitment, not something that I burn out on. I want to make it easy enough that I keep doing it; the challenge comes from the class itself!

So, I’ll be at yoga tomorrow morning at 6 again. I’m not going to get down at myself for not going eleven times in the last eleven days; I’m going to be proud of myself for going eight times in the first twelve days after my trip. That’s a pretty good record, if I do say so myself!

Daily Check-In:

I’m grateful for the FC Bayern München jersey I got at a garage sale a couple of years ago. Q is wearing it right now, and she looks awesome.

I’m also grateful, of course, for the photo by See1,Do1,Teach1.