In the light of day

Mt Hood & Tulips
Photo by Gaz Photo’s

I just deleted some stuff out of yesterday’s post. I don’t usually do that (except for grammatical errors and typos, because those bother my OCD self to no end – and feel free to point them out to me, as I will thank you for it). But when I woke up this morning, I wasn’t happy with a story I shared yesterday. It was no big deal, but it wasn’t about me and I wasn’t comfortable with the whole tone.  I can only ascribe it to late-night blogging and lowered awareness of what I feel is appropriate.

So on to bigger and better things.

I never really shared why I told that story about my little family yesterday. Our newspaper, The Oregonian, prints photos and stories each day of kids in foster care who are looking for permanent homes. There have been three times that I have seen kids in there that have just touched my heart, and yesterday was one of those days. There were two sisters, ages 16 and 11, who just sounded like they were meant to be in our family.  Another time there were three sisters; once, a single girl who reminded me soooo much of Quinland. I cut out her story and carried it around with me for weeks.

I’ve talked with David about this. He explains to me, patiently, that we are challenged enough in our daily lives by our one child and our own individual physical and behavioral issues. He explains, patiently, that kids in foster care will have pretty significant challenges of their own, and that they would do better in a family that is rock-solid on routines and stability, which we are not. He explains, patiently, that we need to concentrate on making the most of the life we have and not look for ways to complicate it.

“You’re right. You’re right. I know you’re right.” (Name that movie.)

I do know he is right. But this yearning – to have more kids, to have a sibling for Q, to help kids who need a home – is still there.

Daily Check-In:

  • I’m grateful! for the MS office, which provided me with an armload of books on wellness and lifestyle and health… and also for Glee.
  • I’m lighter! Month End will be finished in a timely manner today! Hooray!

I’ve got nothing

No ideas for a post.

No photos of the kitchen, so I can’t write that post.

No batteries in the camera so I can upload photos of my alien pumpkin, so I can finish that post.

No idea how the whole bronchitis thing is going to interact with the steroids tomorrow.

No clue as to how my whole “Go into the office, take the morning dose of prednisone while I’m there, and then go home when I feel shaky” plan is going to pan out.

No money if I stay home for a week.  (OK, I did go in today.)

Luckily I have a lot of other things: love, family, friends, food, shelter, safety, health care, transportation, books and other playthings.  Too much stuff to name, actually.  So it will all work out.

Daily Check-In:

  • I’m grateful! for all that stuff above.
  • I’m lighter! my kitchen is clean, I sorted papers and produced 2 bags of recycling, and I am going to bed early.