Sleeping? Pills?

I am exhausted. I need to sleep.

I am tempted to stay awake because I still have one more dose of medication due in about two hours.

I feel absolutely wiped out. I’ve been fighting a cold all week. I’m beginning to feel sad for no reason. These are all things that would be helped by getting more sleep.

My leg has been bothering me because I have that cold. (Anything that kicks my immune system into play causes my MS symptoms to act up.) When I miss a dose of meds, there is the distinct potential for lost time the next day due to my body giving me grief. So I should take the drugs, right?

I think I have decided to choose the sleep. Even if I feel bad physically tomorrow, at least I’ll be well-rested! If I choose to stay up to take the drugs (or to have David wake me when it is time to take them), I will be even more tired and there is no guarantee that I will feel well, even so.

Hasta mañana. Stay tuned for my report on this experiment.

Edited the next morning to add: I chickened out. I stayed up until 11 pm, took the medicine, and then took some melatonin so I’d be sure to sleep — and got 8.5 hours! I’m still exhausted, but every little bit helps.

sleeping pills by madamepsychosis / CC BY

It’s about time

Why have I gone such long stretches without blogging in the past? What trips me up? What holds me back?

Time has a lot to do with it. Not in the sense of not having time (or making time) to write. It’s that I always want things to be in perfect chronological order, and I want to blog about them at the exact moment they happen. But a) life doesn’t always provide immediate blogging time whenever something cool happens, and b) most of you wouldn’t even know that I was going out of order, anyway! It’s all just a roadblock constructed by my own mind, by my own sense of what is “right.”

Well, guess what! I do not have to be perfect. Not in this blog, not in life, not anywhere. I can choose a random photo, a random story, a random topic — in other words, anything I want — and just run with it. There is nobody to ask for permission or to chastise me for my choice. The choices are just that: MINE.

That said, let us take a look at these adorable children.

Let’s call them “Quinland” and “Crowley,” because those are their names. It’s hard to believe that a mere five years after this photo was taken, the small person on the left would be in New York, studying theatre, and the small person on the right would be in the U.K., studying art.

If I had unlimited funds, I would travel the world to hang out with these people and see what they are doing in their lives right now, because I miss them horribly. This whole “empty nester” thing is a serious drag. Even if the fry didn’t spend their every waking moment with me (and they certainly did not), they floated through my line of sight often enough that I felt I could keep up with their lives. Now, I have all sorts of time for other things — cooking, cleaning, getting enough sleep when I am sick — but I’d trade that in a second to be a fly on their walls occasionally.

I love you, my people. xoxo