Bad dog


I could be writing about how I am 25-7 in the tourney, about how I had Butler and Marshall and Kansas State and Syracuse. (Nobody had Maryland Baltimore County, so I can be forgiven on that one.) But nooooo. . .

I could be writing about how Hudson Taylor are about to go on a meteoric rise (long-predicted by me, if I dare say so myself), about how they were on TV in New York this week, about how they got mentioned by Rolling Stone. But nooooo. . .

And why not, you ask?

Because my frakking dog peed in the house again, not 30 minutes after he was taken outside for the second time in the last hour, and it’s got me in a frenzy. I’m so angry. He was right by me. It’s marking behavior. He doesn’t need to do it. He just wants to declare his ownership of one upholstered leg of a living room chair. It ticks me off.

I hate having to clean up after him. I hate the sight of Nature’s Miracle. I hate that we will never be able to have nice things. I hate the fact that dogs can’t be reasoned with.

I love my dog. I do. But sometimes I understand why such a sweet dog was once a homeless stray.

And why, for the time being, he can’t look me in the eye.

Ten facts about Bones

1. Bonesy is enthusiastic. When he is excited about something, he bounds. He leaps into the air with all four feet. He wiggles and wriggles (and sometimes even pees) for joy.

2. He is incredibly affectionate. He takes great pleasure in licking our faces, cuddling with us, and gazing at us with great happiness. He loves everybody.

3. We refer to Bones as “play-impaired.” He does not fetch, nor does he seem to understand the concept. He’ll go after something if he knows it has food inside, and he’ll drop it if we ask him to, then chase it down if we throw it again. I know this sounds a lot like fetch, but it is obvious that the food is the draw. He will not do the same with a ball or a stick or even with his “treat ball” if there is no treat inside. He doesn’t like to play tug-of-war, either.

4. Bones is bad at basic dog skills. He knows how to sit, stay, come, and lie down, but does them only sporadically.

5. Though he would never pass Dog 101, he has some Dog 201 skills down. He can shake hands, and he can roll all the way over. If he goes out on the deck, he knows to bark once to be let back in.

6. Bonesy loves kids. He’s patient and friendly with even little tiny kids.

7. He’s a mutt, and many people have opinions about what he might be. We were told he was an Australian Cattle Dog (Red Heeler)/German Shepherd mix by the shelter we got him from, but nobody knows for sure. (People often think he’s part Rottweiler because of his coloring, which I think is funny, because Jon’s dachshund is also the same colors, and no one thinks Oscar is part Rottweiler.)

8. If he dashes out the front door without a leash, he will return in 15-20 minutes whether we call him or not.

9. He loves to go to day care at Central Bark. We call it “school,” and all you have to do is ask him, “Do you want to go to school?!” and he’ll go absolutely nuts. We have to speak in code and call it “la escuela” or “the place of education” so he doesn’t go bonkers.

10. He would be the most perfect dog on earth if he didn’t like to mark on things so much. Many a book or record has had to be thrown away because he wandered off and decided to pee on something, regardless of whether we just took him out. It also means we can’t take him anywhere, because you don’t want him to destroy someone else’s stuff. As long as we keep an eye on him constantly, it’s manageable. . . and he’s such a good dog in all other ways, that we still love him!

I mean, who could resist a face like this?

Plan #9 – Write a blog post every day!

Annnnnd… it’s not going to happen today. Drat. In my defense, I have been sitting here for hours studying for a Continuing Ed insurance exam and simply lost track of time. I’m going to consider that a good enough reason to be late (and since I haven’t gone to bed yet, it technically still seems like the 10th to me, so I’d say this counts).

Here’s a photo of Bonesy to tide you over until I write a proper post next time:

Bones (aka Bonesy, Sherlock Bones, Bone-Z, Dogboy)