MS is one of many “invisible” diseases. Because people can’t see what’s wrong with me, and because I look perfectly fine, they figure I’m doing great. And most of the time, I am, thanks to the wonders of pharmaceuticals! But other times, those invisible symptoms leave me thinking that people are judging me. (Lazy. Unreliable. Hypochondriac. Skiver. Unproductive. Antisocial.)
Then again, perhaps I’m projecting. Perhaps I’m the one doing the judging. I definitely think those things about myself when I spend days in bed, when I have no energy, when I have to call in sick to work, yet again. I’m the one putting expectations on myself and beating myself up when I can’t meet them.
There’s definitely a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I could beat this if I wanted to, if I just worked hard enough. It’s no wonder I expect others to think that, too.