Fatigue – #AtoZChallenge

This is the perfect day to talk about fatigue! You see, Walk MS was two days ago, and it was awesome. Family, friends, love, support — it’s my favorite day of the year, and I float through it on a wave of adrenaline. But every year, I go home from the Walk and pretty much collapse for days.

Fatigue has been the weirdest and most frustrating symptom of all. Some days, I will be feeling absolutely fabulous– energetic, motivated, happy — and then, after doing maybe one task, I crash. Other days, I wake up and think about getting some food or using the bathroom, but I’d have to lift my head and move the dog over, and I don’t have the energy to do it.

I have days that I basically live in my bed, days that I crash as soon as I get home from work, days that I need to rest after every little thing I do. Then, out of nowhere, I’ll have some great days.

One thing to note is that sleep doesn’t help the fatigue much (I can have a short nap, a long nap, or a good night’s sleep, and still feel lethargic) but lack of sleep definitely makes it worse. Colds, flu, infections, stress and sleep deprivation all seem to kick my immune system into gear, completely exhaust me, and do a number on my left side.

It’s totally manageable, in its own way.  I mean, it’s just hanging around in bed! What’s not to like?! But there’s a stigma to it. You’re lazy. You aren’t making an effort. All these naps are just making you more tired. You are wasting your life. Does anyone really say those things? I doubt it; they are probably all internal. But apparently those are long-held attitudes in my mind, because those voices guilt-trip me about all the time I spend resting.

BONUS!

Fry – This post could also mention the young, whom I love, who are more than willing to just pop over to the house and visit with me in bed, and who have seen me in my pajamas too many times to count. (Love you guys!)

Let sleeping girls lie

I’ve been feeling like the most underwhelming blogger lately.  There are so many blogs out there that educate or focus on a particular topic or “add value” to their readers’ lives, while this blog is just a glimpse into my life and my thoughts, and lately that’s felt pretty darn boring. Being sick and tired isn’t really glamorous, you know!

But it’s obvious that this blog is about me, and I can only assume that anyone reading has at least a passing interest in that topic. So I’m going to keep plugging away.

That said, I should let you know: My past is catching up with me.

Not some nefarious past, just the past couple of weeks of travel and illness and stress. It’s funny, really, the way you don’t realize how tired you have actually become until you just collapse.

I came up to Camas to spend the day at Danny and Heidi’s, but after a couple of hours, I started feeling unwell and decided to lie down for twenty minutes  or so. HA! I woke up hours later, totally disoriented. When I asked why no one woke me up, Kaitlin told me that she’d tried, but after talking to me and shaking me hadn’t worked, it seemed better just to let me sleep.

Luckily, I got up in time to call Central Bark, where Bonesy was spending the day, to arrange for him to spend the night, as well. I managed to stay awake long enough to eat some dinner, but then promptly fell back to sleep once again.

Spotted outside Los Potrillos, where Danny took me to get food. I was greatly amused.

It’s 4:00 AM now. I’m awake, but just barely, and mostly because I fell asleep while typing this and the phone fell out of my hands and hit the floor with a loud BOOM that scared the bejesus out of me. I still feel like I could sleep all day and not feel any more rested.

Schedule change!

Ever since I stopped working full-time, I’ve been working Tuesday through Thursday. It made the most sense; schools tend to have their holidays and inservice days on Mondays and Fridays, so if Q was going to be off school, I’d be off, as well.

Lately, though, I’ve been thinking that maybe working three days in a row is a bit much for me, energy-wise. Quinland’s schedule is no longer a concern. So I’m going to try some new work schedules and see which works best.

First up, starting tomorrow: Monday / Wednesday / Friday. This should be interesting, as I’ll never work more than one day in a row before I get a day off to rest. Not having a four-day weekend will take some getting used to, but I can still shuffle my days if needed for a long weekend away.

I’m looking forward to seeing how this goes! If it keeps my energy at more consistent levels, I’ll be thrilled.