Mistakes, that is. Some bad ones… some not so bad. Either way, my first reaction is to beat myself up, horribly.
This drives me crazy about myself, and it just plain drives me crazy. I know what I should do: I should treat mistakes as learning experiences, as training, as steps on the path of life. I know that babies fall over and over when they are learning to walk, but they don’t beat themselves up about it – no! They just get up again and keep on walking, until soon they are running and dancing for joy.
I know all those things. Yet, when I try to be funny in an email to people I don’t know very well and it seems as though I may have been carelessly thoughtless and hurt someone’s feelings, I feel terrible. And though I apologize immediately, and resolve never to do such a dumb thing again, I am sure that I will… and I may beat myself up yet again.
Perhaps each of these times of beating myself up is a little falling-down of its own, and each time it happens, I’ll get incrementally more adept at life.
I’ll keep making mistakes, though. Just watch me.