“I miss writing,” I blurted.
“What made you bring that up all of a sudden?”
“I have a blog, and I used to write almost every day. It wasn’t anything really important; it was just about my life — but it was as if I could figure things out by writing about them. I miss that.”
We’d been talking about my years as an elementary-school teacher (so I could understand the confusion), but my mind suddenly took a detour from thoughts of teaching — to having had melanoma the last year I taught — to my MS diagnosis a decade later and the stress that came with it — to how I’d wanted to release everything that was holding me down.
I started blogging back in 2011 to help me make sense of some unsettling changes, to give me a place to work out what was happening and what I was trying to do with my life. Posting daily was not a chore or a responsibility; it was practically a compulsion (I jumped out of bed more than once when I realized I hadn’t posted), but one I really enjoyed. I wrote every day for months; then every other day for almost a year. But I got caught up in what it meant to be a “blogger” (back when that meant something to many people), and since that wasn’t the sort of writing I was doing, I kind of lost the magic of writing for myself — and the dwindling post count showed it.
I posted exactly once in 2019. This past year has been a hard one for me, but I am planning to be very kind to myself in 2020, so I am going to give myself the gift of stress-free blogging. Let’s see if it helps me make sense of my life as I get back into really living it again.
Thank you for sharing the journey with me. I can’t tell you how excited I get to see that anyone is following along. Please comment so I know you are still here!
xo – Lori
Interestingly enough, I was singing with my family way back when this blog began, and we broke out SingStar just last night to welcome the new year in. (There’s no celebration that can’t be improved by belting out some New Wave tunes. It’s a scientific fact.)